Blowin' in the Wind

...All the better to sit on, my dear.

So...since Andy & I have started dating (14 months ago, wow!), I have gained nearly 20 pounds. This is completely not okay, so Operation Not Such A Fatass starts....tomorrow. I'm so good about eating healthy, but not so good about eating in moderation or keeping a regular workout schedule. Hopefully since I have admitted these problems, I'm taking the first step toward solving them.

Anyway, I think I've decide to return to the land of the blog. I always start to give it up when I know people aren't reading it, but then I remember that I enjoy it. I'm doing this for ME, not for you!

An old friend committed suicide yesterday. I can't understand what he must have felt like, but I am very saddened by all of it. It seems that everyone I know is sort of in a darker-than-usual place lately...I've even felt that way. I haven't felt depressed, but I've been thinking a lot lately about things I would have done differently given the opportunity, and also how I need to get out & make some friends! I wish I wasn't quite so poor, so I could make the CS & Burner gatherings...well, someday!

To make myself feel better, I created a Google spreadsheet (I'm a whore for Google Docs!) of things I want to accomplish in 2010. I think it's helped to clear my mind some. Establishing goals is the only way to achieve them.(:

Get outside & enjoy that sunshine today! I can't wait to get off work & do just that!

I have a lot of goals I'd like to accomplish in 2009. What's going to be different than every other year is instead of being gung-ho in January and falling off the wagon by February, I am going to remember that I have an entire year in which to accomplish these things, and do it gradually.

So here are my goals:
1. Lose 30 pounds. That's basically been a goal for the past couple years that I've never accomplished. The main difference this year will be me living in my own house, and cooking only for myself and only what food I have purchased. I think this will make it all much easier. I'm going to slowly cut foods out of my diet. The first thing I'm quitting is chocolate. This should be easy since only recently have I developed any real affinity toward it. I'll allow myself some occasionally, but maybe only once a month or so. Then will be other sweets, then red meats, then fried food. Or at least that's the tentative plan.

2. Finish my online classes & get that degree! I just ordered a new calculator after mine going AWOL for several months. I think it will make it easier for me to buckle down and get these classes finished. Plus, I have to have them completed by April/May otherwise I have to re-enroll and take them all over!

3. Open myself up to the idea of dating. I've never been big on dating and/or relationships, but I think in its own way that makes me unapproachable. I don't want to be unapproachable, so I'm going to work on changing my anti-relationship attitude some.

4. Stick up for myself when I should. In some ways, I've got this on lock. If a rude stranger runs into me at the grocery store, I have no qualms calling them out. When people question my values or sensibility, I'll fight for them to the death. This is mainly in regards to close relationships I have where the other party tends to walk all over me or take me for granted. Instead of being bothered by it and pretending I'm not, I'm going to start (tactfully) asserting myself in the situations when I feel like this is the case.